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Hey, all! A while ago, when I ran the Plot Synopsis Project, it was suggested that I also do a Query Project. I didn’t have the time then to organize it, but I’ve put something together now. What you’ll find here (from me) is an old post that I’ve reposted with some changes, mainly dealing with the actual paragraph pitch that I included. In the first posting of this, I made a pitch up on the fly, and it sucked. This time, I put in the pitch I actually used in the queries I sent out to agents and editors regarding that particular book. I’ve also tweaked some sentences and whatnot since the original post.

So, here’s my advice on how to write a query and what it should include. At the end of the post, there are links to a bunch of other authors who’ve agreed to post one of their own queries (one that netted them an agent or editor) along with comments about queries in general. Some of the authors participating never used queries, and they’ll explain how they got published without them, or why they didn’t need them. But most of us used queries to catch someone’s attention. As always, this is just our experiences and our advice, which may or may not be the best advice out there. Use your own judgment after considering what we’ve all had to say. And good luck with your own agent/editor hunt!



Queries

The query is horribly important for writing purposes, especially for new writers, because it's the door to the editor's and/or agent's office. Basically, the query is a cover letter for your manuscript. In the query, you want to include information about yourself, your book, and what you have to offer. It's an attempt to get the editor and/or agent interested enough in you and your work so that they either request to see a partial of the manuscript if they requested a query only, or to get them to turn the page and start reading the partial that was included in the mailing. It's the first impression that the editor and/or agent will get of you, and because of that, it has to look sharp, speak clearly, and be perfect. Which is alot of pressure on you as the writer.

But before I go any further into discussing them, let me say that I'm not purporting to be an expert on queries. I'm only going to report what I did and/or learned in my process to getting published and what I think the query should be and do. I also want to say that, in general, I DO NOT think that agents and editors read the query and skip reading some of the partial (if it's included) "almost all of the time". I think they only skip reading a portion of the partial if it's obvious from the query that the book just does not fit what they represent or sell. If the editor publishes mysteries, and you sent them a romance, then yes, they'll read the query, determine it's a romance, and not even look at the partial. There's no point (unless there's a significantly good dose of mystery in the story, and if that wasn't mentioned in the query, then you screwed up the query). However, from what I've seen and heard by dealing with agents and editors as a writer, they almost always read a little bit of the partial. It may not be much, but it's enough for them to determine if they'll be interested in your story and whether you can write, regardless of what's in the query.

OK, I'm sure I'll get some flak from people over that last paragraph, but let's move on.

Queries. The main point is the query should be one page, short, and to the point. Don't waste time here, because you want them to move from the query to the partial (or the request for the partial) as soon as possible. There are three paragraphs to a query, maybe four. And in all three paragraphs you have to be completely and totally honest about yourself and your book, and you have to be completely and totally upfront about what you want and where the book currently is. Always. And lastly, you must be completely and totally professional at all times. Remember, this is your first impression and you only get one first impression. It's like a date. You DON'T want to screw it up or you'll never get laid.

I'm going to write this as if you were sending it to an editor, but the same advice applies to agents as well.

Incidentals: Before we hit the three paragraphs, you must make certain you have all of the incidental letter material absolutely correct. This means the address for yourself, the address for where you're sending it, and above all the name of the person you're sending it to! This person should be the actual editor at the publisher where you want to be published, it should be spelled correctly, and it must be current. Double check to see that the editor or agent is still working there. Editors and agents shift positions all the time. If the move was fairly recent and hasn't been circulated much yet, and you put the wrong editor on the query, it's not a problem. Don't stress about it, the query will find the right person. But if the editor you sent it to left their position six months ago and you send it to them instead of their replacement . . . that doesn't look good. It's not professional. It's not a deal breaker by any means, but take the time to do the research and find the appropriate editor. And for heaven's sake, if you don't know if it should be Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Dr., then leave the honorific off. Just say Jane Doe. You certainly don't want to say Mrs. Jane Doe and then find out later that it was really Mr.

First paragraph: Ok, so you've double checked the editor's name, triple checked their address, and made certain you put your own address on the envelope correctly. The incidentals are done. In the first paragraph you should tell them exactly what it is you have to offer and what you're looking for. Something along the lines of:

"I am seeking a publisher for my 100,000 word contemporary fantasy novel entitled Fever."

You should take one sentence, maybe two, to tell them why you are sending this novel to THEM. Make it personal if you can. If you met them at a conference or convention and chatted with them briefly at the bar, mention that here. If they gave you their card and said send them something, mention that here. In fact, if you've had personal contact with them, mention that first, saying something like, "I had a great time chatting with you at the bar at Confluence last month. I hope your dog Sparky is doing better after his surgery." You can get a little personal depending on what you spoke about at the bar, but keep it short and move on to the main point as soon as possible, which is of course that you have a 100,000 word contemporary fantasy novel to sell. Include what is enclosed with the query, if anything, such as a partial, or the plot sysnopsis, etc. This is important however: Only include what they request in their guidelines, or what they have requested from you in person. In the end, this paragraph shouldn't be more than 5 sentences long.

Second Paragraph: This is where you describe your entire novel in no more than 5 sentences. Which is hard. It's got to be punchy, pithy, and get across your main character, your basic plot, and whatever it is about your book that makes it unique and/or different from all of the other books out there. I suck at these kinds of paragraphs. Most writers do, because it took 100,000 words to get the story down on paper, not 5 sentences. If we could have done it in 5 sentences, we wouldn't have wasted the 100,000 words. What it takes is a huge butcher's knife and a little fortitude. You have to be willing to cut out almost everything about the novel except the character's transformation, how the plot forces that transformation, and what makes the book unique. Remember, you aren't trying to explain the entire plot or book here, that's what the plot synopsis is for. What you're trying to do here is pique the editor's interest so that they think, "This sounds cool," and they either request the partial, or turn to the partial immediately. Here’s the one I used for my novel Fever:

"Set mainly in north central Pennsylvania in 1965, Fever is the story of Dr. Avery Mills, a young doctor whose life takes a sudden wrong turn when he nearly kills a patient. Dumped by his girlfriend, he seeks to escape his life and takes a job in the small town of Coudersport. But Coudersport holds a secret: a fever that gives those infected the ability to channel fire with their minds. Mills must uncover the darkness beneath the town’s idyllic surface, and in the process face his own past and discover his own strengths."

That gives you the idea anyway. Short, but with as much information as you can pack into it. Keep it focused on the main character and his or her change or "problem". Don't stray from the main plot with subplots or anything like that, keep those for the plot synopsis. And bring into it what makes the story unique (the pyrokinesis here, I think).

Third Paragraph: The last paragraph is where you should include any information the editor needs to know about you, such as credentials, and where your novel currently stands. If your book is about biological fantasy creatures, you should include the fact that you're a biologist. If you've sold 3 books already, include that. Won a prize for writing, had short stories published, anything that would be a cred and give you more standing should be mentioned here. Also, and this applies more for a query to an agent, if your book is being looked at by a publisher already, you should mention that, something like, "Fever is currently being considered by an editor at DAW," or whatever. In essence, let them know where the book stands at the moment, if there's a solid lead or nibble in a certain direction. If you don't have any publishing creds yet, that's fine. Just mention something personal about yourself. For my first fantasy novel, I had no creds, so I just said I was a graduate student at Binghamton University, working on a PhD in mathematics. Nothing whatsoever to do with the book or publishing or even fantasy, but it was a little personal touch, so I seemed more real to the editor, not just a piece of paper in the mail.

Ending: After this, you should have a short, short paragraph thanking them for their time, that you look forward to hearing from them soon, that an SASE is included (if so), etc. Sign it off in some way, such as "sincerely" or whatever. I wouldn't use "love" unless you really know them that well, in which case you probably don't need a query at all.

And that's that. Sounds complicated, but the worst part is the novel summary paragraph, and you can get lots of help from friends and others in workshops and on LJ and whatnot in getting that written. So here's the sample of a cover letter I may have sent out based on what I've said here, if I were looking for a new publisher at this moment. Keep in mind that this still needs some spit and polish, and that pieces of it will vary depending on your situation and how well you know the editor/agent. I've faked the addresses and names and whatnot, but the description of the book is real, from a book I actually wrote, called Fever, that has not yet been published. Check the comments out as well, since others may chime in and bring up some good points that I forgot to mention or just didn't think about regarding queries. And of course you can ask any questions you might have as well.

******************

Sample:

Joshua Palmatier
213 Gigawatt St
Coudersport, PA 00000

August 17, 2007



Bigwig Publishing
317 Whatsit Ave
New York, NY 00000

Ira Greenwaltsonphindermacher:

It was great meeting you at BlipCon last month and I enjoyed the panel on nanotechnology in fantasy. As per your request after our discussion after the panel, I'm sending you the partial and a plot synopsis of my 100,000 word contemporary fantasy novel entitled Fever.

Set mainly in north central Pennsylvania in 1965, Fever is the story of Dr. Avery Mills, a young doctor whose life takes a sudden wrong turn when he nearly kills a patient. Dumped by his girlfriend, he seeks to escape his life and takes a job in the small town of Coudersport. But Coudersport holds a secret: a fever that gives those infected the ability to channel fire with their minds. Mills must uncover the darkness beneath the town’s idyllic surface, and in the process face his own past and discover his own strengths.

I have three fantasy novels currently being published by DAW Books, and was a finalist for the Compton Crook award for best first novel in 2006. I'm currently working as an assistant professor at SUNY College at Oneonta.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,



Joshua Palmatier



Here are links to the blogs and webpages of other authors participating in the Query Project. They will all have different things to say, and some of the same things, so read through them carefully and ask yourself how you want to present yourself in a professional manner to an agent or editor . . . and then write and send out those queries! You certainly won’t get published without sending material out to be seen . . . and yes, rejected. But that’s another post entirely. *grin* Everyone should be posting these today, September 12th, so if you go through the link and there isn't anything there yet, check back later. They may not have gotten to posting it just yet. (Plus, they may be in a completely different time zone, like . . . France or something.)

Paul Crilley
Chris Dolley
Diana Pharaoh Francis
Gregory Frost
Simon Haynes
Jackie Kessler
Glenda Larke
John Levitt
Joshua Palmatier
Janni Lee Simner
Maria V. Snyder
Jennifer Stevenson
Edward Willett
David J. Williams

ETA: Links have been updated to take readers directly to the query post (rather than just that author's blog), although I didn't get permanent links for one or two of the authors on the list.

Date: 2008-09-12 04:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] halspacejock.livejournal.com
Okay, I've posted mine with comments. Hope it helps someone!

Date: 2008-09-13 05:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
I'm sure it will. I believe everyone has gotten their up with the links (except for Greg, who doesn't have the links on his). Otherwise, I think the project was a success. Maria seems to think so. *grin*

Date: 2008-09-12 06:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jennifer-brozek.livejournal.com
Thank you. This is very helpful.

Date: 2008-09-13 05:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
You're welcome. Good luck with your hunt!

Date: 2008-09-12 07:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glitteringlynx.livejournal.com
[livejournal.com profile] ysabetwordsmith is also participating tomorrow. Just so you know. :) She's another published author on my friends list.

Date: 2008-09-13 05:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
I checked out her blog but didn't see her posting a query. She did, very kindly, post a mention of the project though. Perhaps I missed her query.

Date: 2008-09-13 07:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glitteringlynx.livejournal.com
Yeh, I had thought she was going to. Perhaps not, or perhaps it slipped her mind.

Date: 2008-09-12 07:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dynastic-queen.livejournal.com
This is simply GOLD, just like the other project. Josh--I love you.

Thanks!

Date: 2008-09-13 05:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
You're welcome! Good luck with the hunt!

Very useful

Date: 2008-09-12 08:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zornhau.livejournal.com
Thanks for sharing.

Re: Very useful

Date: 2008-09-13 05:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
You're welcome. Good luck with the hunt!

Re: Very useful

Date: 2008-09-13 10:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zornhau.livejournal.com
Thanks! The aim is to reduce the element of luck to a minimum, but my god it's still required.

Date: 2008-09-12 11:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vcmorris.livejournal.com
I've written a lot of query letters but I was never sure if I was doing it right because I couldn't find any good information on them. Thanks so much for your personal, detailed information. I'm going to print it out and use it a reference when I send out "Blood Of The Scarecrow". Cheers!

Date: 2008-09-12 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rhia-hilldancer.livejournal.com
there are lots of really good resources for writing queries out there. one of my favorite is miss. snark. she's a real ny agent (anonymous) who was the first person to clearly articulate to me what makes a great query. anyway, she no longer blogs, but she has left the site up, and it is worth stopping by. http://misssnark.blogspot.com/

good luck in your query process! :)

Date: 2008-09-13 05:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
Glad to be of help!

Date: 2008-09-12 11:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] patesden.livejournal.com
Great post. Thank you.

Date: 2008-09-13 05:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
You're welcome! Good luck with your query!

Date: 2008-09-12 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mandyhubbard.livejournal.com
I just posted the one that worked for me in 2006! :-) (I've since sold my debut YA novel to Razorbill/Penguin, to be released next year).

Date: 2008-09-13 05:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
Congrats on the sale!

Query Help

Date: 2008-09-12 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vespican.livejournal.com
For those looking for "Query How-to" information, I suggest checking Anne Mini's AUTHOR! AUTHOR! blog at www.annemini.com
She's recently finished several posts on the subject. As well, there is a lot of information in the site's archives.

While I still have not been picked up by an agent, I have received several requests for partial (and even one full) submission. (Which means that the query did what it is supposed to do!) One rejection even commented that the query letter was very well written, a situation that I attribute to the advice and knowledge passed along by Ms. Mini.
Dave

Re: Query Help

Date: 2008-09-13 05:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
Good luck with your agent hunt!

Date: 2008-09-12 11:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kythiaranos.livejournal.com
Thanks for posting this. I'm not quite ready to start the agent hunt, but I've bookmarked this so I can come back to it later.

Date: 2008-09-13 05:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
You're welcome. Good luck with the hunt, when you get to that stage.

Date: 2008-09-13 01:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sylvia-rachel.livejournal.com
Great idea -- thanks for doing this!

As you say, it's definitely worth workshopping that second paragraph with everyone you can rope into it a few friends and acquaintances -- especially ones that haven't read the book yet, because s/he-who-hasn't-read-the-book is exactly the audience you're writing for; that step seems to have been one of the things that helped me get my query letter from all rejections, all the time, to some rejections and some requests for partials.

Date: 2008-09-13 05:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
I thought it might help. Should have done it earlier in the summer, before school started, but it doesn't take much time to organize. Hope it helps some of the aspiring writers out there. I more or less did things blindly.

Date: 2008-09-13 01:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cyn2write.livejournal.com
What a great idea! Some of my friends led me over here. I was on the agent hunt a few months ago, and I had posted a link to the query that got me a 100% request rate and multiple offers of representation in a matter of days. It can be found here:

http://cyn2write.livejournal.com/106802.html

Hope it helps someone.

Date: 2008-09-13 05:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stillnotbored.livejournal.com
It is a very nice query and I can see right off how it netted the response you cite. I'll add that I'm very happy it worked so well for you.

However...

I've been around a while and picked up a few bits of knowledge in my travels. I think it is only fair to point out that this query contains things that most of us who are in the agent hunting stage don't have in our corner. We don't have a book already sold to a major house coming out next year and we don't have an option for another book in place. Writing one of the hottest sub-genres out there these days doesn't hurt either.

If all of us looking for agents had those advantages we'd all have a 100 percent request rate and multiple offers of representation.

The majority of us have to be content with writing the best query we can, to go with the best book we can write, and hope that we hit the right agent's desk on the right day.

Joshua's project is a great idea. I think it will be very helpful to people just starting this quest for the first time and for those of us starting it over again.
Edited Date: 2008-09-13 05:23 am (UTC)

Date: 2008-09-13 05:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katallen.livejournal.com
You're right, the query contains an intriguing premise for a book. But I can't help thinking that you're also right about agents looking for opportunities -- and an author who already has a book in production is bound to pique the interest of anyone looking for someone to fall in love with. The way being handsome and comfortably off will encourage more romantic interest from potential lovers than being in need of a few grooming tips and unemployed.

Similarly, as one of the unemployed masses I'd be unlikely to attract interest with an unfinished work, while it's perfectly normal for authors with a track record to make such an approach.

It's certainly a good query to try and emulate, but I don't think anyone should be disheartened if theirs doesn't work quite as well -- it won't necessarily mean they're ugly and unlovable, just that they have to be a little more persistant in their search :)

Date: 2008-09-13 02:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jmeadows.livejournal.com
But I can't help thinking that you're also right about agents looking for opportunities

It's true, says the query slush reader. I *have* to request queries with previously published authors. Whether I want to read them or not.

Date: 2008-09-13 12:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cyn2write.livejournal.com
Very true. So my recommendation, before looking for an agent, is to 1) write in a really hot sub-genre and 2) have a book sold to a major house. Seriously, though, I would LOVE to post my query that got me my agent the first time around, before I was sold, but I don't have one. A friend of mine just sent my work over to her agent, who became my agent. So queries are just one of a number of things that can get you in the door with an agent. In my opinion, luck plays almost as big a part in it as great writing does. Good luck!

Date: 2008-09-13 02:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mandyhubbard.livejournal.com
*dusts her shoulders off*. Yep, you are lucky to call me your friend (that's the luck you're talking about, right?).

Date: 2008-09-13 02:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alanajoli.livejournal.com
This is very cool. I've added it to my memories--because I suspect I'll be coming back to it for advice. :)

Date: 2008-09-13 05:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
Good luck with your hunt once you get to that stage!

Date: 2008-09-13 07:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reality967.livejournal.com
Hi Joshua,
Thanks for organizing the Query project.

Please correct me if I am wrong; but aren't you JPsorrow over at AW. I loved those articles you wrote on various aspects of writing.

I'll be adding you to my bookmarks.

Usman.

Date: 2008-09-13 05:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
I am indeed jpsorrow over on AW as well. I stopped posting the writing threads over there because over half of the responses ended up being about whether or not I should be posting (or preaching, depending on the POV) at the site, not about the topic I'd posted about. So I post my writing things here and leave it at that. It was just too much drama. *grin*

Good luck with your own agent/editor hunt!

Date: 2008-09-15 04:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reality967.livejournal.com
Yes I remember the particular argument. I was one of the yay sayers. I really did think you were helpful. My name on AW is Raphee.

Thanks for all the advice there and now here.

Date: 2008-09-17 06:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
You're welcome. *grin*

Plot Synopsis Project II is coming up this Friday, and next Friday is a post on signings--what I've learned about them in my few years experience.

More on Query Letters

Date: 2008-09-15 03:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vespican.livejournal.com
Since I still do not have literary representation, I cannot include myself in the list of illustrious writers who have graciously posted their query letters. Yet as I've mentioned in an earlier comment, mine seems to be somewhat successful, and that being the case, I've posted it on my own page. Perhaps it is good enough to help someone newer to the "game" than me. Additionally, should any of you who are more advanced in the writing/publishing world care to comment upon or critique it, I surely would not mind.

Joshua, I re read your comments on query letters and was struck by what you said regarding the correct honorific. (Mr. Mrs. or Ms.) Anyway my sources tell me that if one is unsure, that a quick phone call to the agency to ask, "Is it Mr. or Ms. Jones?" is perfectly acceptable. I'd rather do that than run the risk of offending Mr. Jones by addressing my letter to Ms. or Mrs. Jones.

Dave

Re: More on Query Letters

Date: 2008-09-17 06:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
Or just leave the honorific off completely. There's nothing saying it has to be there.

Re: More on Query Letters

Date: 2008-09-17 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vespican.livejournal.com
I suppose the decision to omit the honorific would depend upon the querier's sense of written etiquette. While it is no doubt perfectly proper to address a letter to "Dear John Smith," I believe many would prefer to start the missive with "Dear Mr. Smith." I certainly would not use the first name only in an initial query, nor would I fall into that agent hating trap of "Dear Agent," or "Sir" or "Madam."
Dave

Mysteries of the Query Letter Explained

Date: 2008-09-16 03:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] billblume.livejournal.com
Joshua, thanks for this breakdown of the query letter. What you've provided here works great.

Re: Mysteries of the Query Letter Explained

Date: 2008-09-17 06:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jpsorrow.livejournal.com
Thanks. Hope it helps!

Thanks, I needed this

Date: 2008-11-23 09:44 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Recently fired last agent because she was an idiot, so I'm back to the drawing board. I've been trying to get my latest version of my query letter perfected ... it's good, just not great yet. There are so many opinions out there about how to do this that it's pretty confusing. This article was so refreshing! Very simple to understand and no muckety muck. Thanks a bundle. S. Susan VanLeeuwen

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