Let Me Show You My Middle Finger

[jpskewedthrone]

OK, so somehow last night during the gym, I bruised the middle finger on my right hand. I seriously don't know how this happened, but it just goes to show you that us teachers really overuse our middle fingers, let me tell you. *grin*

Or perhaps it has to do with taxes. Let me rant at you:

Today, I gathered the stack of envelopes that had arrived starting in January with the idea that I'd get started on my taxes (since I'll be at a math conference this weekend, and Norwescon next weekend, which leaves little time for actually doing them in the next few weeks). So, I sat down, popped the TurboTax CD into the computer to get it downloaded, then opened the first envelope.

And the suckage began. Because this first envelope wasn't a W2 form or a 1099 form or anything like that. It was a bill from the IRS. They'd gone back (for some unknown reason) and looked at my 2005 and 2006 taxes and decided to penalize me and the new penalty was due in February. WTF! I mean, it's completely my fault for assuming the envelope from the NYS IRS had something to do with the 2008 tax season and not opening it, but really. It came in January 2009. Assuming it had to do with 2008 taxes is not really entirely out there.

But anyway, I called and told them what had happened and got the "new" penalty for not paying the "old" penalty on time and paid that. So then I stalked my apartment, fuming, because the penalty I'd incurred was because I wasn't psychic and didn't predict exactly how much money I'd make that year. And even if I had taken more money out on the off chance that I'd make more money than expected, I'd be penalized for having TOO HIGH a refund. So they get you coming or going and I'd be damned if I was going to bend over to make it easier.

I exploded when George got home, so he got the major earful. And after that I sat down to start the taxes for 2008. And guess what? I didn't predict how much money I'd make correctly THIS year either, because I had no clue that the German rights would sell. So I got a sizeable chunk of completely unexpected and unpredictable money . . . and so I'm going to be penalized yet again. (I knew about the German deal, but had no clue when the actual check would be cut and sent and I'd get actual money, as opposed to just knowing money was on the way. This is a major problem with being published. Take note.)

So, on the first run-through, I did everything with the standard deductions and whatnot and when the final amount due (including penalties) hit the TurboTax bar I almost swallowed my own face. The suckage was that great. So before panicking completely, I went back and redid everything by itemizing (and remembering that I'd bought a new computer for writing purposes last year) and when all that went through I merely swallowed my tongue.

But in good news, the state of Missouri owes me $13!!!

Obviously, how much I owe will not be admitted publicly, but I keep reminding myself that the only reason I owe so much is because I sold the German foreign language rights! which is a rocking way to owe money. I mean, it basically means I had a good year on the writing front, and since writing years go up and down, with huge highs and huge lows, I'll take the high when I get it.

But honestly, what's up government? I mean, penalizing me because I can't predict the future? And penalizing me again if I've attempted to predict the future but overpaid instead? Who the fuck set up that system? Isn't it enough that when I calculate my taxes by the actual tax day, on time, I actually pay them? I mean, I PAY THEM! ALL OF THEM! ON THE DAY YOU SAY THEY'RE DUE! Why am I being penalized for this? Hmmm!?!?!?!

Comments

[ruralwriter.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain on the taxes...well, not specifically your pain. I haven't sold German rights on anything. :-)

I mean, penalizing me because I can't predict the future?

Oh, and I love having to pay taxes next year on the refund I get from the state this year...GAH!

I could understand if you were a CEO earning millions a year...but....

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

It seriously makes me wonder why I'm trying to make money in the first place.

[anghara.livejournal.com]

Um, this is why I turf the whole mess at an accountant and THEY can do the scrying for the IRS for me. I pay taxes quarterly on projected income and the accountant does that up for me - and they cannot make a case that I didn't give them the correct income because this is an ESTIMATE and as an estimate it's subject to revision.

But we are STILL playing silly buggers with foreign rights that sold two years ago. So don't stop ranting just yet.

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

I may have to do the accountant thing. I wasn't because, well . . . I have a PhD in math. You'd think I could do my own taxes.

[anghara.livejournal.com]

Tax law isn't math, not really. This isn't about adding things up and coming up with the correct total. It's fine when it's all veyr simple - but this authorial boondoggle is kind of complicated and if you can find somebody who can navigate their way through the labyrinth you don't have to rely on the trail of crumbs you think you're leaving behind you, but which some monster has been scarfing up in your wake without your knowing about it...

Seriously. Get thee to an accountant. You DO realise that the services of one are tax deductible under the circumstances...?

[elven-wolf.livejournal.com]

Oy. *tries to get brain to stop spinning, decides to get mum's sister the accountant to do his taxes should this ever be an issue*

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

An accountant is probably the best option in the long run. *sigh*

I'll try to check out your stuff on OWW. If you don't see a review within a week, ping me again and remind me. I've got a conference and a con and whatnot going on, so it may slip my mind. But I'll definitely crit it for you.

[elven-wolf.livejournal.com]

Sweet! Thanks! *yay*

[katatomic.livejournal.com]

This is a large part of the reason I think twice before considering moving out of a state with no personal income tax...

But you poor thing! That is truly a tale of mighty suckage. I do hate the quarterly estimate game and instead drive my accountant crazy by insisting on paying only on what I actually earn each quarter. It's a pain for us both but it saves us from the "you didn't estimate right!" penalty.

I'm currently doing my taxes, too and what really pisses me off is finding the multiple letters from last year saying I'm due a refund AND a stimulus paymen, but they are still reviewing my taxes to decide how much and when and if.... Thank you for further fucking me over on the estimating thing, Mr Tax-manS!

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

At least I got the stimulus check and didn't have that mess to handle. (I need to verify that it was what I said it was on the return though.)

It will be good to see you at Norwescon. A mere week away (or so).

[barbhendee.livejournal.com]

Oh, Josh, you poor thing. I'm so sorry. I don't know if you remember me. We met at Norwescon last year. I think we did the "Liars Panel" together.

I really struggled with getting the whole "tax situation" down in 2004--when we too started making some serious money from our writing. After doing our taxes for that year, I almost swallowed my face too. It was awful.

I pay our taxes for our writing money on a quarterly basis, and like Anghara above, I've started going to a professional accountant (I bring him organized sheets with our deductions). He estimates our quarterly payments for the current year (based on the previous year), and as long as I make the payments based on these projections (on time), we will not be penalized no matter how much money we make in the current year. Bying TurboTax cost me about $80 and the accountant costs me $180 . . . but he's completely worth it.

I hope this is helpful, and I really feel bad for you.

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

Of course I remember you (and significant other). We also sat in on a crit session or two at Norwescon, as well as the Liars panel. Can't wait to see everyone one the west coast again in just over a week!

[wolfsilveroak.livejournal.com]

But in good news, the state of Missouri owes me $13!!!

And here I thought Virginia was a cheasp state! Sheesh!

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

Well, I only made about $1500 working in Missouri. I owe my state of residency . . . well, quite a bit. *grin*

[klwilliams.livejournal.com]

I thought if you had a regular job with W2 forms you didn't get hit by estimation penalties for extra money. Good thing to find out about.

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

Ah, see, the writing job doesn't do the W2 thing, which is where the problem lives. Even though I take the maximum amount out of all of my other jobs with W2s, it didn't cover the writing money I brought in (mostly because of the German deal). But I had no clue if the German deal money would come in 2008 or 2009. It came in at the very end of 2008.

[jemck.livejournal.com]

Okay, bearing in mind I am in the UK, and I don't even know any Americans who understand the US tax system...

For writing purposes I operate as a limited company, which means I don't have to do any of this estimating/predicting income ahead of time. I pay tax in arrears on actual money earned, less costs, and at a lower rate than personal taxation. This also has other UK-specific tax advantages, notably registering for VAT.

Yes, it costs me money to operate this way - I have to have an accountant and submit company returns and stuff. But overall - and I do check - I still come out ahead of the game. Sometimes not by much in a lean year. Definitely when those unforeseen chunks of money arrive.

Your mileage will undoubtedly differ - from state to state, I would imagine. I simply offer this up for consideration by those who might be interested.

[threeoutside.livejournal.com]

Don't kid yourself. There is not a living soul on Earth who understands the US tax code. Certain people study enough to do taxes for a lot of common citizens, but no one understands all of it, or even very much of it, I suspect.

And it's designed to keep the rich getting richer and the middle-class and poor in our places. That's it. That's all. "Fairness" is laughably irrelevant to our mighty lawmakers and their owners.

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

I think I just need to cave and get an accountant for 2009. *sigh*

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

I find the US tax system completely arcane, I have to admit. Ours is complicated too, but not in this particular -- and infuriating -- way. Sympathy. And I hope the finger recovers soon, too.

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm giving exams in my classes tomorrow, plus I'm still working on the tax thing . . . so the finger may get a bit more bruised over the next week.

[domynoe.livejournal.com]

I've always wondered why the U.S. can't just a do flat, oh, I dunno, 15% or whatever and be done with it. Why all this complicated BS? Do a flat rate across the board, everyone pays the same rate which means lower income people pay less and higher income people pay more (which, as far as I'm concerned, is as it should be), it's easy and uncomplicated and wastes a whole lot less trees, and it's done.

But I guess our government can't do anything easy. Besides, it creates jobs...right? :P

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the flat tax makes sense. Nice, simple, easy. But there's always a "but" from someone about something that makes sense and is an "exception," which is where the tax system ends up going all wrong in very complicated ways.

Get an accountant!

[zornhau.livejournal.com]

Word is, they're worth it.

Re: Get an accountant!

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm probably going to have to do this.

[diamondreads.livejournal.com]

I feel for you. I used to work for H&R Block and you aren't alone in the surprises the IRS can give you. I did ours last month but won't mail it yet, since we owe again and more than I can afford. So much for a down economy. I should put more away, since they're taking less out of our checks. If owing almost a thousand isn't enough! And I work less hours. Maybe it's because I had a second job for a while last year. Anyway, the IRS can go back about as far as it wants to and will if it thinks it can make some money. I'm all for a flat tax. Heck, if you check history, our gov't used to not tax us except for in times of war. I'm scared to see what the IRS does that'll affect us next time. Thank the stars I live in a no state tax state.

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

I unfortunately live in one of the states with the highest taxes. Oh well. It's just money, right? RIGHT?!?

[sylvia-rachel.livejournal.com]

Oh dear :(

US taxes are the reason I have my taxes done by a professional. (That, and my own personal history of mathFAIL.) Canadian taxes are a pain in the ass, admittedly, but just looking at the arcane, counterintuitive, completely irrational* US tax form makes me want to curl up in a little ball and whimper until it all goes away. And that's without actually having to pay any US taxes -- I file a US return basically just to prove that I don't owe the IRS anything.**

Which reminds me that DH and I haven't sent off our stuff to our tax lady yet. Sigh.

*Right down to its name. 1040D? WTF? Sounds like motor oil.
**Dual citizenship. It has its ups and downs.

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

I need to find a professional. I hate paying the professional, but it might be worth it in the end.

[sylvia-rachel.livejournal.com]

Dude, it's totally worth it. Especially if you have (a) a bunch of sources of income and (b) US tax returns to file. DH and I pay our tax lady a couple of hundred bucks every year, but every year we think we're going to owe money and end up not owing money, because she knows so much more about how the system works than we do and remembers the deductions and credits that we would have forgotten about. More importantly, though, the fact that she does our taxes means that we don't have to, which is almost as good as a vacation ;^)

[jeanhuets.livejournal.com]

I can understand why you sprained the middle finger.

You may not have to pay any penalty for underestimating last year's income, assuming you were paying estimates based on the previous year's income. See form 2210, wherein ye diresome penalty and exemptions are calculated. You'd have to pay interest, however.

One more thing: don't assume that the tax dept. calculated your overdue / owed taxes correctly. They dunned my father for a big chunk of money and he proved 'em wrong. In fact, I think they ended up owing him. Go, Dad!

NB: Dad's retired and has plenty of time to mess with the IRS's collective head. He is also deeply crafty and tenacious as a badger. Ordinary mortals may want to get an accountaint.

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

The penalty wasn't all that much, so I'm not really complaining that hard, but it does really bother me that they're punishing me for something I had no control over. That's what bugs me the most.

[wldhrsjen3.livejournal.com]

Heh. I feel your pain. Farm taxes suck majorly too, let me tell you. The depreciation schedules and tax credits don't help - they just sound nice when you're signing paperwork at the accountant's office. :/ The only good thing is our taxes are due March 1st, so we can sit back and watch everyone else scramble to finish theirs. :P Good luck!!

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

Ugh, some of my family did the farm thing for a long time. Is your middle finger OK?

[bearmountain.livejournal.com]

Actually that rule is a little weird--go look it up because it matters more what you make the previous year--if you made a certain amount, you then have to prepay quarterly the following year. Talk to someone that understand the rule because it is very complicated and you're right, it will not apply to you every year. If you are ever worried about it (like with suddenly selling German rights) you can always send in a prepayment for that quarter.

I hate taxes too. It takes an entire week for us to do ours--and I mean 8 hours a day.

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

Ok, it only took me an afternoon to do mine, so you win. *grin*

[kelly-swails.livejournal.com]

But honestly, what's up government? I mean, penalizing me because I can't predict the future? And penalizing me again if I've attempted to predict the future but overpaid instead? Who the fuck set up that system? Isn't it enough that when I calculate my taxes by the actual tax day, on time, I actually pay them? I mean, I PAY THEM! ALL OF THEM! ON THE DAY YOU SAY THEY'RE DUE! Why am I being penalized for this? Hmmm!?!?!?!

True dat. I've never understood why they would penalize you for overpaying tax. Yeah, it's more paperwork for them maybe, and they might have to cut a check if you don't have online banking stuff set up, but really. It feels like the system is meant to penalize honest people.

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

That really makes no sense. I can see them being upset because you underpaid (although if there was no way to predict that you'd make more money ahead of time, I still don't think they should be upset if you pay them in the end), but if you overpay? Get real. They had money they shouldn't have had in the first place. They should not be complaining about that.

[arhyalon.livejournal.com]

I don't know if this will help, but my accountant said that as long as your overall, throughout the year, estimated taxes are more than the amount you paid last year (or maybe it's withholding and estimated need to be more than last year) then you're usually okay, even if they come out too small. Obviouisly, I don't exactly know the law, but it might be worth it to ask someone who does.

Supposedly, we're supposed to pay equal estimated taxes every quarter...but it's impossible. If you get your quarterly estimated taxes in, however, based on what you do sell that quarter, that helps.

This estimated tax thing is just ridiculous for writers!

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

I think they need something different for writers, definitely.

Taxes

[(Anonymous)]

Missouri owed me a bit too. Sadly, it doesn't look like I'll get to file there for 2009. JB

Re: Taxes

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

I know. I ran into Mort at the gym. *frown*

[jjschwabach.livejournal.com]

Keep in mind that if you don't file your taxes, zombies will eat your brain. If you do file your taxes, you will become a zombie.

I always try to file in February. But no, you can't predict the future. But you should be able to! Why can't you? I mean, everyone in the banking, auto and mortgage industries does so well at it...

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

I couldn't file in February because I didn't have one of my 1099 forms yet. But I knew I'd owe, so why pay early?

Let's Show...

[vespican.livejournal.com]

...the IRS our collective middle finger! Who cares if it's bruised and sore or not! Surely our collective mind is reeling from the round and round of tax preparation (H). As I am yet unpublished, I don't have the pleasure of trying to do taxes based on income from any sales. Still, some of the circuitious paths they create for the average wage-earner/military retiree are enough to induce financial vertigo.
Dave

Re: Let's Show...

[jpsorrow.livejournal.com]

But isn't tax preparation (H) supposed to soothe the itchiness and swelling? *grin*