Writing: Disappointment
Feb. 6th, 2010 11:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jpskewedthroneI made a rather hard decision yesterday, with the help of some friends. See, I've signed a contract with DAW for a few more books, which is great! However, that means I need to, you know, actually produce the books. Hopefully good books. So since the beginning of the year I've been working on two of them. One of them is due months before the other. The problem is that the book I'm caught up in and is basically writing itself . . . is not the one that's due next.
*sigh*
In any case, I'm working on the next book. And I'm working and working and working. I've now got a prologue and four chapters written on the new book. I love the prologue. The four chapters are . . . OK. They aren't bad. But they aren't great.
So my decision . . . is to chuck them all. Well, not the prologue. I'll keep that. But the chapters just aren't cutting it. I'm having a hard time getting into them and . . . well, writing, which is a fairly good sign that something is wrong. I initially thought that the "wrongness" I felt in my gut was because it was the beginning of the book and I hadn't settled into the story yet. Plus, I was introducing a new character and figured I hadn't gotten the character "figured out" just yet, so that was what was making me uneasy.
But I'm four chapters into it now and I don't think the unease is because of the character anymore. I think it's the story itself. What I have written so far is broken, and it's time to just pull it, set it aside, and start fresh.
This realization pretty much made me want to cry, because I'd just spent a month working on this (while working the day job) and chucking it meant I'd lost all of that time in some sense. And this thought made me sick. So part of me--a big part--just felt like crawling into bed and closing my eyes and NOT THINKING about it at all, and perhaps that would make it go away.
At the same time, a part of my brain had already kicked into overdrive and was figuring out what Chapter 1 should be if it wasn't supposed to be what I thought it was supposed to be. And guess what? My brain already knew. I'd already written about part of it (although that's changed slightly) in the pages I'd written.
So, I feel like I've lost something but at the same time I've regrouped and have a new destination. Hopefully a much more interesting one.
If not, then I'll have to call my editor . . . and I don't want to do that unless absolutely necessary.
*sigh*
In any case, I'm working on the next book. And I'm working and working and working. I've now got a prologue and four chapters written on the new book. I love the prologue. The four chapters are . . . OK. They aren't bad. But they aren't great.
So my decision . . . is to chuck them all. Well, not the prologue. I'll keep that. But the chapters just aren't cutting it. I'm having a hard time getting into them and . . . well, writing, which is a fairly good sign that something is wrong. I initially thought that the "wrongness" I felt in my gut was because it was the beginning of the book and I hadn't settled into the story yet. Plus, I was introducing a new character and figured I hadn't gotten the character "figured out" just yet, so that was what was making me uneasy.
But I'm four chapters into it now and I don't think the unease is because of the character anymore. I think it's the story itself. What I have written so far is broken, and it's time to just pull it, set it aside, and start fresh.
This realization pretty much made me want to cry, because I'd just spent a month working on this (while working the day job) and chucking it meant I'd lost all of that time in some sense. And this thought made me sick. So part of me--a big part--just felt like crawling into bed and closing my eyes and NOT THINKING about it at all, and perhaps that would make it go away.
At the same time, a part of my brain had already kicked into overdrive and was figuring out what Chapter 1 should be if it wasn't supposed to be what I thought it was supposed to be. And guess what? My brain already knew. I'd already written about part of it (although that's changed slightly) in the pages I'd written.
So, I feel like I've lost something but at the same time I've regrouped and have a new destination. Hopefully a much more interesting one.
If not, then I'll have to call my editor . . . and I don't want to do that unless absolutely necessary.
