I had to kill both a major character and a minor one in my 2nd novel. It just would not have been right otherwise, especially since it's a book involving the Civil War. Like you, I cried while I was writing it. I cried when I was editing it. I cried again when I read it in the finished book. I hated to kill her because we were just starting to understand who she was and how important she was to the main characters, but, war is hell and the death worked to harden the heart of another character even more. It gave the main character a great deal of motivation later in the book.

While the book was in its editing phase with the publisher, she sent me an email about this death. She thought I'd like to know how FURIOUS her head Reader was about it. "How could I do that? Why didn't she (the publisher) warn her about it? Argh! No, she can't be dead!" That kind of thing. It made me smile because, as you said, it meant that this character was loved and had become real to someone other than myself.